The cost of Nerdiness


Recently I was speaking to a friend of mine about houses, boring talk. About mortgages and equity and principle. All things that I mix up and I don’t have the brains to figure out today. But we got on the subject of dream houses, (architecture is far cooler than equity, let’s be honest). The friend confided that he always wanted a hobbit house. (is hobbit capitalized? The word human isn’t so I’m going to say no.) After telling me this he said “Sorry, I’m a nerd I like that sort of nerdy stuff. Dungeons and dragons and war games and LOTR. and stuff.”

I told him he had nothing to worry about, but it got me thinking.

I have another friend who does this frequently as well. My friend can be energetic to say the least. But she’s hilarious. A little spazzy at times, but great. I’m so low-key sometimes I don’t register. I suspect that it’s all waiting inside me to bubble over someday, because that sounds far cooler than the idea that I’m just a bit boring. But I digress. My friend will bust into a rant about something, it doesn’t really matter what. She is so excited about what she’s talking about, her hands all over the place, her words blending together. And I love it. It’s a vitality that she brings to all conversations. It’s not a vitality I can bring. But at the end she’ll say, “Sorry, I’m a dork.”

No. This will not stand. Some of my favorite things in the world are nerd things. The idea of a nerd, or dork interests to me, means that you are passionate about the world around you, that these fervent interests have a place in your life. And I think that is wonderful.

It’s no surprise to anyone at all my love for reading. If I could read all day I would. I read everything in front of me. I have three reading applications on my phone. I have physically worn out the scan strip on my library card. I have an entire pinterest board dedicated to quotes about reading and books. (As of now I have over 100 quotes.) I love reading. And that absolutely makes me a nerd. But I love that about myself. I love the energy I feel when I’m in the middle of a great book, I love talking about books with people. I love dissecting characters, the symbolism of a white dress or the motivation behind a betrayal. I love following my favorite writers and hearing their opinions about everything. To me, they are my celebrities. I’d rather hear about Anne Rice’s thoughts on what is going on in women’s reproductive rights than what Kim Kardashian’s baby shower looked like. Sherman’s Alexie on his book being banned in school to what Taylor Swift and her new boyfriend ate at The Ivy.

Don’t misunderstand me, there’s nothing wrong with having these interests. We should embrace the very things that keep us whole. We should never apologize for loving something. I love reading because of the impact that it has on me. But your interests can be anything.

I feel like I should disclaimer this with the fact that while I have read some classics, I have read some intellectual books, that doesn’t mean that’s what I read. I started blogging to talk about Twilight. I read YA, like it’s going to be burned. I devour sappy romance novels in one sitting. Most of my reading is fluff. But I love it. If you looked at my Goodreads you’d find mostly fanciful books. There isn’t much that is thought provoking. but I love it. and I will continue to love it. I refuse to apologize for what I love and neither should you.

There is a great John Green quote about nerds that i want to leave with.


yet another post about ambivalence


I’m torn between wanting to tell the world that I’m going to do this writing challenge and keeping it to myself. I figure most will entirely skip over my blog posts on Facebook and twitter as it doesn’t directly involve them.

The thing about this writing challenge is that I’m not doing it to create the great American novel. Hell, I’m not doing it to create a sub-par novel. I’m doing it because I need to prove to myself that I can. That day after day I can put in the time and effort into an act that I love and in the end have a tangible finished product; albeit quite flawed and full of the wrong tense. I don’t expect that I’ll be able to sell this book, if I do end up publishing it, for a long while. Writing is years of toil, editing out bits that you love, getting red pen on your heart wrenching words.

In all honesty, I’m scared of the possibility of committing myself to writing. To spending all this time on something and having it judged harshly. Even if I finish, I’m not sure I could have people read it. There are harsh critics of Austen and Tolstoy. Gaiman and King. How can I start? When I was writing fan-fiction I knew it would never be serious. How could it be when it is based on another writers imaginary world. I didn’t have to worry about how ludicrous the plot was. Stephanie Meyer had already outdone me. So to the three people who actually read this. Don’t judge me too harshly. I’m saying I’ll try my best to do this. But no promises on whether the pages will see the light of day.

So now I’ll leave you with my mantra for getting through the next month or so. Take it away tumblr-ed Ira Glass.


KMBA-Ira Glass Quote

A few more days to go.


As I previously stated I have signed up to participate in the NaNoWriMo in November. This nifty website will hopefully be the challenge I need to get back into writing. I’m starting a very loose outline, creating character names and sketches. Good lord writing is so much more research than people realize. I feel as if I can’t write about certain things unless I have all the information possible about the subject. Maybe I should work on a fantasy novel…But then you have to create your own world from scratch.

I’m gearing up, but this will be a new experience for me. The website said to accomplish the goal of 50,00 words I need to write 1,700 words  a day. When i was a fan-fiction writing machine that was no problem. There were Yerba Mate filled sessions that cranked out nearly 5,000, no sweat. but that was pre-Jackson. Now the mere idea of opening my laptop exhausts me. But I love writing. So what’s a girl to do? I think i need to be more disciplined this time and hope that I will be successful in finishing something I can truly call my own.


NaNoWriMo or what am I getting myself into…


For years I have wanted to take part in National Novel Writing Month but for one reason or another I haven’t (pregnancy, new baby, a rabid fan fiction addiction…the list goes on.) This year I am going to attempt it, and hope that I can complete it. I have had this idea in my head for a while now and I feel that I need a motivator to get myself sitting down at the keyboard and writing. I love writing, the feel of the keyboard under my fingers or ink on my thumb, for the assuaging sensation; the cathartic effect. I have yet to find a problem that I am unable to write myself off a ledge from. (Does that even make sense? It has been over two years since I have tried to seriously write.) Wish me luck, and I’ll try to post updates for anyone following this process.


I really have been busy. Plus a book review.


I’ve been busy, raising a two year old (who just celebrated his 2nd birthday yesterday.) and reading. Good Lord, so much reading. I’ve been trying to burn through my stack of library book but every time I return a book to the library I pick up two more, counter productive, I know. I joined a book club with the amazing gals at thats-normal.   Who turned me on to the fever Series by Karen Marie Moning. (Barron’s, sigh.)

So in place of a real post here is review I did of the book “The Spectacular Now” by Tim Tharpe. It’s full of spoilers because I just can’t help myself. I am looking forward to seeing the movie, hopefully they can get all the basic themes down right. Plus I adore Shailene Woodsley, (and not just because she’s Tris and Hazel).


Continue reading

Words are my Religion


I started this blog originally (on blogger) to be a Twilight blog. I thought that I would end up like UC and Moon from LTT. It turns out the kind of dedication it takes to keep up a blog like that is far more than I am capable of. So i began to write about other things. Still no one really read it. Which is fine. I suppose I can look at this endeavor as a diary. Isn’t that what it should be, anyway? A place to channel our angst and bliss? I know I have spent many hours pouring over posts about infertility, at times a place like this has saved me.

I am an aspiring writer. It wasn’t until I was 15 that a snaggled toothed boyfriend (on our one week anniversary, no less) told me that most people who write will never be famous for it. I had never before considered that i would not be a success. After all writing is my balm, words are my salvation whether it is writing or reading. I can’t count the times I was feeling low and the only thing that helped was a good book. More then God, I believe in the power of the written word. It has been a while since I have written anything. I haven’t updated my fan-fiction in almost a year. But I have it inside of me. Maybe I am inspired by my friend Missy and her honest post about the story inside her. Maybe soon I’ll start back up again.

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."