yet another post about ambivalence


I’m torn between wanting to tell the world that I’m going to do this writing challenge and keeping it to myself. I figure most will entirely skip over my blog posts on Facebook and twitter as it doesn’t directly involve them.

The thing about this writing challenge is that I’m not doing it to create the great American novel. Hell, I’m not doing it to create a sub-par novel. I’m doing it because I need to prove to myself that I can. That day after day I can put in the time and effort into an act that I love and in the end have a tangible finished product; albeit quite flawed and full of the wrong tense. I don’t expect that I’ll be able to sell this book, if I do end up publishing it, for a long while. Writing is years of toil, editing out bits that you love, getting red pen on your heart wrenching words.

In all honesty, I’m scared of the possibility of committing myself to writing. To spending all this time on something and having it judged harshly. Even if I finish, I’m not sure I could have people read it. There are harsh critics of Austen and Tolstoy. Gaiman and King. How can I start? When I was writing fan-fiction I knew it would never be serious. How could it be when it is based on another writers imaginary world. I didn’t have to worry about how ludicrous the plot was. Stephanie Meyer had already outdone me. So to the three people who actually read this. Don’t judge me too harshly. I’m saying I’ll try my best to do this. But no promises on whether the pages will see the light of day.

So now I’ll leave you with my mantra for getting through the next month or so. Take it away tumblr-ed Ira Glass.


KMBA-Ira Glass Quote


A few more days to go.


As I previously stated I have signed up to participate in the NaNoWriMo in November. This nifty website will hopefully be the challenge I need to get back into writing. I’m starting a very loose outline, creating character names and sketches. Good lord writing is so much more research than people realize. I feel as if I can’t write about certain things unless I have all the information possible about the subject. Maybe I should work on a fantasy novel…But then you have to create your own world from scratch.

I’m gearing up, but this will be a new experience for me. The website said to accomplish the goal of 50,00 words I need to write 1,700 words  a day. When i was a fan-fiction writing machine that was no problem. There were Yerba Mate filled sessions that cranked out nearly 5,000, no sweat. but that was pre-Jackson. Now the mere idea of opening my laptop exhausts me. But I love writing. So what’s a girl to do? I think i need to be more disciplined this time and hope that I will be successful in finishing something I can truly call my own.


NaNoWriMo or what am I getting myself into…


For years I have wanted to take part in National Novel Writing Month but for one reason or another I haven’t (pregnancy, new baby, a rabid fan fiction addiction…the list goes on.) This year I am going to attempt it, and hope that I can complete it. I have had this idea in my head for a while now and I feel that I need a motivator to get myself sitting down at the keyboard and writing. I love writing, the feel of the keyboard under my fingers or ink on my thumb, for the assuaging sensation; the cathartic effect. I have yet to find a problem that I am unable to write myself off a ledge from. (Does that even make sense? It has been over two years since I have tried to seriously write.) Wish me luck, and I’ll try to post updates for anyone following this process.