Somewhat photo challenge

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I’ve been negligent on updating the photo challenge. Here are some gems from late. For the water photo, I took a picture of a row of whiskey shots thinking I was original. Fire water, right? I was drinking a little. Beer, not a row of whiskey shots. Not that there is anything wrong if you drink a row of whiskey. Row of whiskey would be a good band name. So would Indianola Kevin. Not a good band name, Kevin that puked in Deirdre’s car.
There, I’m done.

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*asshole wasn’t a word in my phone yet. How is that possible?

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Wearing thin

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As I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy right now there are things that are really starting to annoy me.

  • New Age Phrases like sacred space, mothering heart*, love language, affirmations. Basically this entire post which is all too much for me to handle right now. (Anything that is described as “Spiritual Wellness” makes me nauseous).
  • Any reference to how tired, sick, big and “done” I look. I don’t know how exactly you think your comments are going to help me get through a 40 hour work week, when all I want to do is stay at home and watch a marathon of Daria on LOGO.
  •  Your birth story. Unless I specifically ask you, I do not need to hear how you threw up on the doctor, the epidural only worked on one side or didn’t work at all, you pushed for three weeks and pooped on the table.
  • My cankles.
  • That damn scale at the doctor and the fact that I was just boasting to a friend how I hadn’t gained that much weight a few weeks ago.
  • My good friend who is tan, slim and has long shiny hair she obviously has enough energy to wash and style every morning. I’ll love you again in a few weeks I’m sure.
  • Opinions on circumcision, organic baby food, breast-feeding, natural child-birth and caffeine. I’m not smoking crack while riding down the highway on a street bike with no helmet so I think my choices are safe enough.

I’m not all doom and gloom though. In a concentrated effort  to be more positive here are things I still love. And I’ll try not to have them all be food related.

  • My husband cooking dinner all the time for me.
  • Lying in bed at night while Rusty and I feel for JD kicking around.
  • Mini blizzards from DQ.
  • That blessed coworker who still tells me. “You don’t even look pregnant until you turn around.” And I really don’t care if she is lying.
  • My Mom, who doesn’t laugh at my breastfeeding questions.
  • My hair which actually looks pretty good right now despite not styling it for months.
  • yoga prenatal tea and my hot tub turned down to 96 degrees.
  • pancakes.
  • weekends.
  • My dog, just look at her!

I'm sappy so I think this is just scruffy mangy adorableness.

*I heard the phrase mothering heart when I was trying to get pregnant. A psychic told me I would get pregnant only when I opened up my mother heart and let in the positivity. She also told me I would have a rough winter which lead me to freak out and become convinced that I was going to miscarry. I mentioned it to the owner of the New Age store and she gave me a rose quartz for “healing”. I shit you not.

Breaking Down and Breaking Up Before Breaking Dawn

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This post is brought to you by Paul Simon.

 

I have reached a sad but necessary conclusion recently. After years of being completely faithful in my love, I have to end it today. Yes, Twilight I am breaking up with Twilight. I’m not saying that I won’t have an occasional tryst on those long lonely nights. I may come crawling back to it around November. But for now I just can’t do it. This relationship has gone too far and it is no longer fun.

As much as I love Twilight it needs to end, if only to stop receiving the awful merchandise. I really didn’t need all these shirts with Rob’s face on them. I’m not fourteen and if I was it would have been JTT all the way.

These carefree days are gone.

I am tired of people telling me every twilight reference they observe.

Hey Megan, I saw vampire fangs and thought of you!”

Super for you, but I don’t need to know that you are going to Forks or if you saw a new Twilight magazine out or be asked about the next movie. I do love this saga but I am tired of people thinking that is all there is to me.

There was a point when people knew more about me than the fact that I like Twilight. I actually read quite a bit and although I love the saga, I am not all that impressed with S.M. writing. It’s easy, it’s fun, but it’s not amazing.

I started reading the books when we were trying to get pregnant. The story of a clumsy girl and her perfect vampire were a great escape. Because that is what these stories are, an escape from the real world. They are not my whole world. When your adult problems seem to overwhelm you, it can be nice to travel back to a time when your biggest worries were whether a boy liked you and wanted to hold your hand. (Cause, really there wasn’t much else in the first three books.)

You don’t have to analyze the emotions because Bella is every teenage girl. That is the appeal. And I’m not saying that I don’t still harbor a crush on Rob, because I absolutely do. It’s just that the saga as whole doesn’t hold the same spark.  So as much as I loved it once I have to say  goodbye. Please don’t try to offer me shirts or boxed candy (Fire and Ice) I will go on with my life and look back at these moments with fondness.

But I’m taking this love underground.

Prejudices and Venn diagrams

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I saw this great quote on FOUND and share it on several different sites before looking up the author. I was surprised to find that it came from a book that is sold through the LDS. While I personally have nothing against the Mormon Church, I felt a little disconcerted that I was drawn to quote dispersed by that  religion. I know that there is a difference between the Mormon Church and the crazy clans in Colorado City.
I guess sometimes we form these opinions, that while seeming innocent can become prejudices. Our thought need to be carefully controlled. I shouldn’t  disregard the quote if I like it simply because it was said by someone who is a religion that is somewhat affiliated with another religion that I do not understand, (though quite admittedly, fascinates me.) I’d like to think I am a very liberal person. But sometimes I find that even this left wing, girl who as a teen  had a poster of Martin Luther King Jr hanging next to her teen beat cut outs of JTT, can make snap judgements that are wrong.
I feel like this isn’t coming out right and I’m sounding like some crazy racist. I’m not, I am simply pointing out that sometimes even those who feel they are accepting of all people can
What is funnier than this picture of Venn Diagram, is the comments below; as people argue whether a Venn diagram are mathematical. I should probably ask Cantante but I’m too busy being lazy and acting like a child all weekend.

I always prefered the blue

Think

No WhatWolf

Well Done, Steak!

Which one am I?

Compliments

Like he’s gliding through the fucking Matrix

Photo is from Surviving The World

I don’t know why this is funny.

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miniature giraffe

This is a direct consequence of television

I was looking up whether Seahawks are in fact, real, when this gem popped up. While I appreciate the inquisitive nature of human kind, I can’t help but wonder, why the fuck enough people would think that there could be miniature giraffes.

I have to admit that the idea of a miniature giraffe is very funny to me.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Go here.

“A novel is no different than graffiti in a bathroom stall, it’s just more pretentious.”

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All day long, while staying home to recover from my bout with SARS I have been watching TV, drinking Gatorade and ginger ale cocktails and posting obscure quotes by Daphne Gottlieb* on Facebook in an attempt to look as if I am far more refined than I really am and then having my wall say shit like this,

 “Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I shall endure.
All hope abandon, ye who enter here.”

Yes, like Dante. Am I doing that because I’m sitting there reading Dante while listening to classical music?

Sort of.

Well, no.

I am listening to classical music, and by classical music I mean Debussy’s Clair De Lune; Which I only know because of Twilight. Which is what Claude Debussy would have wanted because we all know what a schmuck for vampire romances he was.

When really I’m not reading Dante, I’m reading City of Ashes. Which, while it is a fantastic YA novel about demon slayers, faeries, vampires and werewolves, is not Dante. No matter how you slice it.

But I have noticed that several YA fantasy book use quotes from authors that are far superior in quality. What is that quote? Imitation  is the sincerest form of flattery. No, that’s not it.

Ah, yes. “Good writers borrow, Great writers steal.”†

Okay, so they credit the writers, so I guess it’s not stealing. But in a way it seems pretentious. As if having Robert Frost in your prologue will somehow enhance your story or the weigh down the  magnitude of its subject. I can’t say if these stories will be classics some day. I’m sure in its day, Pride and Prejudice was just another romance novel by a silly woman.

And who am I to be saying those things? Alas, it is but a writers torment to fight with this empty page and I cannot always control the words that pour out of me.

Or maybe I’m just being melodramatic, pretentious and an all over snot.

It’s possible.

*Please read the first poem on the page. It is my new soundtrack in my head, haunting and corse.

Title quote is Christy Leigh Stewart

 †Credit to T.S. Eliot

The G.D. Sunflower debacle

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This post is brought to you by Everclear.

    

I love sunflowers. Cheesy, yellow, as big as your head Sunflowers. I love sunflowers seeds and sunflower’s in a vase. I love sunflowers so much that when I was seventeen I got my first tattoo of a sunflower on my hip. My wedding was all sunflowers.    

sunflowers, wedding flowers, wedding rings,

One of my favorite shots of the day.

 

But as much as I love the actual flower; I hate all sunflower trinkets. They’re cheesy and almost always paired with a combination of green plaid, bright butterflies and popsicles.    

I have  learned that you need to be careful what you tell people.  I once told a coworker that I liked sunflowers and she got me for secret santa and bought me every item from the dollar store with sunflowers on it, including a ceramic snow globe that plays an off-key Clair de Lune and doesn’t include a slow dancing Edward Cullen, so really what the point.    

The moral of the story is this, You tell people your interest  and then you have to store all your stupid sunflower shit somewhere and then your husband yells at you because he is sick and tired of tripping over the wooden sunflowers and you’re all “Don’t blame me, Blame my coworker.” But really you only have yourself to blame.    

And that is the worst because I hate admitting I’m wrong, which I probably why I’m here and not cleaning up my house.    

Shit I was looking at when I should have thrown away a gingham tablecloth.    

If you can pronounce this, (I couldn’t)    

Successful sociopath    

Fanfiction; Sassy Gay Friend and the Old Spice Guy    

Change the scene depending on your emotion. Today I’m feeling gregarious.    

I am guilty of a few of these, can you guess which ones?    

[Sunflower picture is from my wedding photographer, Isabel. I’m in her portfolio under weddings. Images by Isabel]