As I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy right now there are things that are really starting to annoy me.
- New Age Phrases like sacred space, mothering heart*, love language, affirmations. Basically this entire post which is all too much for me to handle right now. (Anything that is described as “Spiritual Wellness” makes me nauseous).
- Any reference to how tired, sick, big and “done” I look. I don’t know how exactly you think your comments are going to help me get through a 40 hour work week, when all I want to do is stay at home and watch a marathon of Daria on LOGO.
- Your birth story. Unless I specifically ask you, I do not need to hear how you threw up on the doctor, the epidural only worked on one side or didn’t work at all, you pushed for three weeks and pooped on the table.
- My cankles.
- That damn scale at the doctor and the fact that I was just boasting to a friend how I hadn’t gained that much weight a few weeks ago.
- My good friend who is tan, slim and has long shiny hair she obviously has enough energy to wash and style every morning. I’ll love you again in a few weeks I’m sure.
- Opinions on circumcision, organic baby food, breast-feeding, natural child-birth and caffeine. I’m not smoking crack while riding down the highway on a street bike with no helmet so I think my choices are safe enough.
I’m not all doom and gloom though. In a concentrated effort to be more positive here are things I still love. And I’ll try not to have them all be food related.
- My husband cooking dinner all the time for me.
- Lying in bed at night while Rusty and I feel for JD kicking around.
- Mini blizzards from DQ.
- That blessed coworker who still tells me. “You don’t even look pregnant until you turn around.” And I really don’t care if she is lying.
- My Mom, who doesn’t laugh at my breastfeeding questions.
- My hair which actually looks pretty good right now despite not styling it for months.
- yoga prenatal tea and my hot tub turned down to 96 degrees.
- My dog, just look at her!
*I heard the phrase mothering heart when I was trying to get pregnant. A psychic told me I would get pregnant only when I opened up my mother heart and let in the positivity. She also told me I would have a rough winter which lead me to freak out and become convinced that I was going to miscarry. I mentioned it to the owner of the New Age store and she gave me a rose quartz for “healing”. I shit you not.