For this holiest of holy days, I shall tell you a story about a young boy. A boy not unlike many you will see walking down the road. But like his super human predecessors he holds a secret…
- The boy who would be the Mon, sandwiched between some crazy cheerleader and an anorexic pumpkin
On the usually tepid day of August 19th 1990, People around America were celebrating National Aviation Day and both a pre-Lewinsky, Bill Clinton and The man who would become Uncle Jesse celebrated their birthdays.* KISS was playing a concert in Biloxi, Mississippi and people in the Pacific Northwest went about their business, not knowing that as their day waned a child was being born. He was known as…
- The Andy-Mon
When he was born he looked like any other boy; green eyes and chubby arms. What no one knew was this boy was also born with magical hair. Growing thick and unruly in the wet climate, the hair began to show it’s prowess. All at once The Andy-Mon was protected from nOObs, douchey people who wear converse sneakers and Oregon Duck fans.
Using his hair he battled with frigid temperatures, never once waning from his uniform of board shorts and rainbow sandals. He fought with waves in Maui and came out slightly bent but still victorious above the boogy board.
Like all super heroes, he faced hardships in the form of having two older sisters who made him sit in the middle seat of the car, telling him “You can see the clock better.”
Yes, the Mon has a hard journey ahead of him and like ever Ace before him, he will be tested. For Hero’s are not born but made.
Go forth, The Mon and battle the world with your magical hair and your lightning wit.
I love you buddy.
*Sorry Buddy, I’m sure you would much rather have someone cooler that John Stamos share your birthday. That was the cards we’re dealt.