I bore even myself.


My friend Mel asked me if I thought a coworker of ours was  a snirt. And I’m like, “I don’t know what a snirt is?”

So she proceeds to tell me that snirt is a word for a very nosey snoopy person. So I looked it up on urban dictionary and got another definition for Snirt.

I like to play this game where I’ll tell myself that the next thing that walks my me will be an important thing in my life or that the next person I see will become someone I will hate. Am I the only one? Okay, maybe. Anyways I figure while I’m on there, I may as well entertain myself for a few minutes. So I press the random button, expecting something gross, inappropriate and probably illegal. I was thinking this will be really funny, because everything is inappropriate on Urban Dictionary. Also I figured it would show me how to take down David Caruso.

 Instead I get a long list of the most tame definitions on the website.

  1. hitched
  2. Ann Marie (Who apparently is from Michigan and is very nice)
  3. Yu-Gi-Oh
  4. McJones
  5. Hella G
  6. Ignoramus
  7. Cam Whore
  8. Swell.

Mother fucking, swell? This is coming from the website that not only has 26 pages devoted to the word ‘douche’ but also refers to my mothers name as a masturbatory tool. No, Shit. Is this some sort of sign that I really am the most boring person on earth? Has fate stepped in to give me a big platter of ‘wake the fuck up stew?’ (Actually wouldn’t stew come in a bowl, okay, bowl of ‘wake the fuck up stew.’)

Your words cut me deep inside, like a serrated knife or an ax or some other sharp object that sounds overly melodramatic.

One thought on “I bore even myself.

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