SmutWard may be better than Edward…


This post is brought to you by sweet, sweet love making tunes…


There was a time not so long ago when I had no idea what Twilight was. It seems like a different time for me. I was blissfully unaware that four measly books would become my complete unraveling. I fell in love with these stories fast than I have ever loved something before. I reread the books more times than I could count and saw Twilight seven times in it’s opening month alone. I get shivers when the screen opens up to the deer delicately drinking out of the stream. 

I believe this is a euphamism for innocence. I wouldn't know, it's been years...


It’s innocent, it’s sweet, it’s everything I felt when I was seventeen and felt the first pangs of love from my boyfriend. I tried to play it off as something that was just a fleeting fancy. 

But things changed about a year later. As I pursuing the internet for pictures of Rob and Kristen I stumbled upon a little known underworld of the twilight realm. Fanfiction. Have you heard of it? 

When I was a young girl a friend and I used to sneak into her father’s car and steal his thick Letters to Penthouse paperback and read them to each other in the woods, giggling over words like cock and tits. This was around the same time we would flip each other off behind our parents backs and always by covering our hands to as not to be seen. Almost fifteen years later I am just as engrossed in the smutty world as I ever was. It’s fun, it’s hot, it’s not your teenager’s Twilight… 

I started my education off the right way with The Office*; The Beautiful Bastard and Non, je ne regrette rien. Truly, I don’t regret it. 

Rip my La Perla anytime...


And then I read Wide Awake. Which, true to it’s title gave me self induced insomnia. The most important thing about this story is the fact that it could stand alone, without the twilight backing. It’s that good. The characters are rich and complex, You genuinely feel for their heart aches and cheer on their triumphs. Edward and Bella are both wounded characters who save each other in a very unusual way. Plus, AG uses the best chapter names ever. Macadamia Unicorns. Seriously, it’s brilliant and funny and sad and I wish I had thought of it first. 

Then I was introduced to the dark world of Mafia Princes and Toberlone bars in Emancipation Proclamation. We dive into the world of drugs, mobsters, human trafficking and of course first love. 

My heart would shudder in excitement when a new installment of Clipped Wings and Inked Armor would come out. I’d squeal when a notification about The Lost Boys would appear on my droid. The list goes on and on. 

Before Eclipse came out in theatres I decided to reread the third book, just in case I had forgotten any plot details, what I found was even more shocking. While I had been away from the original story I had lost my love for Edward, The real Edward that is sweet and polite and hardly ever swears. He has been replaced with an Edward who’s favorite way to show his affection is to say, ‘I Fucking Love You’ or rip of various articles of clothing or maybe beat up an unassuming Mike Newton (poor kid is always the punching bag). 

The Edward in fanfiction is the polar opposite of Twilight Edward. He is rough and swears all the time. He smokes and drinks and wears leather jackets and gets in fights with random people. He almost always has had sex with Jessica, Tanya or Lauren and in the case of many stories, all three. (sometimes at the same time.) 

And I love this Edward. I think I may love him more than I love vampire Edward, which frightens me. Is my love for Edward that shallow that it could be swayed by one measly story where a Beautiful Bastard does naughty things with a La Perla wearing Bella? How have I gone so astray? 

If you are following my thoughts you need to read these. If you haven’t already, and really? Why not, because 

 I know they rock my world and I’m pretty sure they’ll rock yours. 

Emancipation Proclaimation by Kharizzmatik 

Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003 

Edward Wallbanger 

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor by HunterHunting 

 The Submissive by Tara Sue Me 

Lost Boys  

*Breaks my heart that this story is no longer available, but I understand, I really do….


One thought on “SmutWard may be better than Edward…

  1. Melissa

    Ahh yes. I completely agree with you. Nothing hotter than a swearing, sex crazed, fist throwing, damaged Edward. I can’t be alone when I say he gives me the shivers.

    And lets not forget to add “The Runaway” to the extensive list of yumtastical Edwards 😉

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