The Apocalypse is upon us.

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Apparently the whole world is going to Hell. Obama is gay, I’m not really married and I just saw a jellyfish in the water near my house. I’ve been tanning like crazy to ensure I look good this summer and was happy until I realized that tanning does not, in fact, make you skinnier, a tidbit that would have been nice to know before I spent fifty buck on a lotion called Aquariumus. (I’m talking to you 16 year old twat from Desert Sun with the white eyeliner.) Worst of all my polish is chipped. End of the fucking world.  

click to make it bigger, don't know why it's so small.

 

As the lazy SOB that I am (Actually wouldn’t it be DOB? whatever…) I sometimes wear the same pair of pants twice before washing them. I did not inherit Momma Mia’s sense of cleanliness and do not shower everyday, certainly not taking care that I shave my legs in the dead of winter. But wearing the same underwear three days in a row? That’s just Dumpster Rob style.     

I bet those two percent girls are a little red in the face or bum, because you know, rashes and shit.

        

 Shit I found when I should have been drinking my eight glasses of water.      

Feel I should send this to my vegetarian sister      

 I am so impressed, when I spend time on the internet I’m just fucking around.           

 Heartbreaking and Beautiful         

Evil Eggplant     

[comic via A Softer World]       

[screen shot from Don Q ]        

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