The Bitch Theory

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Many girls want to be doctors or lawyers when the grow up. Maybe a nice teacher or a chef. I’ve only wanted to be one thing. A bitch. Yes that’s right a BITCH. I love bitches. They add a little spice to a otherwise boring tale. Elle Woods is cute but give me Vivienne Kensington anyday. I adored Taylor Towsend immediately. She was hard and snooty and crazy. While everyone else was rooting for the goonies but I loved Mama Frattelli. You’d be crabby if you had to deal with Sloth.

 

I suppose it is because I am not a very mean person but I’m drawn to them. The Gretchen Wiener to the Regina George’s of the world. (Her hair is so big because it’s full of secrets.) Regina was a force to be reckoned with. When she said the immortal words. 

Like this one time, I got this really expensive doll house from Germany, but I never played with it. So my mom wanted to give it to my cousin. But even though I didn’t want it…I threw it down the stairs. 

Yes! That is my kind of girl! She was everything I wanted to be . In every movie I have a favorite character and she is always the bitch. Ala some of my faves: 

Kat Stratford-10 things I hate about you: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls. 

Carolyn Burnham-American Beauty Honey, I’m so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn’t screw up once! 

  

Quite poetic don’t you think? I even tend to listen to angry bitch music. A little Misery Business or Smile can make my frown turn upside down. As sweet as Sandy is I have always rooted for Rizzo. That girl can rock it.
  
 
This brings me to my favorite b to the oetch. Rosalie Hale. That girl can work it. The moment I met her (We’re BFF’s by the way) I adored her. The evil looks and beautiful sneers. Here icy demeanor and biting remarks. She was a vision in couture. Most people are surprised to find this out. I am Team Rosalie all the way. Don’t get me wrong I love Bella and Edward. I think Alice is delightful and I have a huge soft spot for Jasper and Emmett. But when it come to my girl crush Rosalie has me heart and soul. A mega bitch just adds a little flair to the story. Like Tabasco.
                                    
There is nothing like an opinionated girl to get the party started.

What do you think this is, a gang bang?

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